I know it is long, please take the time to read it.


a friday night alone with God.  slipping in and out of sanity i bite my nails wondering and hoping everthing is worth it.  the frustration sometimes is overbearing and i hide under the covers.  i remember last year when i would go to bed and light the indgo watch under the covers becuasue i thought the glow was tranquil.  i remember being young, hiding from the darkness, in the darkness under the covers because for some reason i thought it was safer. sometimes i think about when i was young and i relize that i never really was young.  my youth was squelched.  as a child i felt weak and vunrable, i never wanted to be vunreble again so i wanted to grow up.  i wanted to grow up and forget it all. i wanted to forget it because i was ashamed.  that innocence of a child, i felt like i was an exception. i felt like a flower stepped on laying on the sidewalk, baking in the sun.  tyring to get up, to grow up.  but whithering in the heat of the world around me.  now i am here, trying to grow again. but also trying to understand me.  i “don’t like” children becuae i don’t understand them.  i don’t relate, i just act.  i just act nice.  sometimes i feel like i do an awful lot of acting. not good acting. acting out my life.  what mask will i put on today.  these masks are not put on becuse of other people like would be assumed. it is not to “fit in,” it is to reconcile myself to myself.  I have been straving myself from God’s word as of late.  catching only a few verses a day loosing the pages i used to eat up so.  Jesus is the word.  He said He was the Bread of Life.  The true manna from Heaven.  therefore word=bread and we eat spirtualy on bread and drink the “living waters” by prayer.  for it says that prayer is like the water which sustains life.  I need to return to the brook, soak in the water open picnick basket.  I just want to write something to those who read about God.  God is not far away in heaven.  He is here and wants to be with us.  we have heard of God from the mouths of hypocrits, the voices of bigots and the whispers of the self-righteous.  We have heard of him but many have not known him.  Religion the church, the horde of hypcrits, bigots do not listen to them not for one minute. do not be decived.  do not listen to the words of the church of the religion and confuse it with God.  Don’t forsake God becuae you have confused him religion, or the conservative right or the hypocrits or the church.  Give God a chance.  To approch God we have to acknoweldge that we are sinners.  We are human, are we not? this is not hard.  John 3:16 and 17 says: “This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.”  I am asking you out of the uboundance of my heart, take a look at God and what he wants for you, with you. an intimate relsationship matched by no other. an unconditional love beyond measure.  and a solid truth, a peace beyond fathom.  I would love to talk to any of you readers about this God. do not be bashful do not dismiss me for anouther “forcer of religion.” i don’t care about your religion.  i care about your hearts, your eternity.  an i care that you have the abundant lfie God promises.  Dear friends call me and i will come out and seek you.  I will introduce you to this God who is.  who is not the God of hypcirts, bigots. not a God of condemnation but of love and grace. in romans it says “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” and in john, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”  yes, come speak with me.  I will show you this salvation which is given freely.

About minuiperiannath

Name: Spencer Wentland College: North Central University Year: Senior Major:Intercultural Studies My story of meeting Jesus in short: Not many weeks after I was born my parents baptized me into the Christian faith at First English Lutheran Church in my hometown, Appleton, WI. There they renewed their promises to renounce the devil and his ways, the world and evil and raise me the same way teaching me to love and fear the Lord, the Lord's Prayer, the Ten Commandments, the Creeds and when of reading age to put the Holy Bible in my hands and all the while, with the church community, instruct me in the Christian faith. My parents weren't perfect but they did fulfill the vows they made at my baptism. I had my own more personal experience with the Lord around the age of seven when I followed Jesus out of the Gospels to a "quiet, lonely place" in my backyard with the hope to do whatever Jesus did there. Without realizing it or ever being taught how to "receive Jesus into your heart" it happened quite like that even seeing a mental vision of Jesus and knowing I need to welcome him into my heart and let him sit on the throne of my life. I've never been the same since then and the Lord has kept his promise to be with me "always." I confirmed what my parents chose for me in a public confession of faith and the ritual of believer's baptism at a local swimming school where the Assemblies of God church my mom attends used to do their baptisms. I've never regretted a life with Jesus; life has always been richer, deeper and fuller because of it. About Me: Ha that's a funny question, and a popular one today. Well, if you really want to know "all about me" you will have to meet me. For starters I am hard to put in simple categories and often find myself tumbling between labels; i.e. introverted and extroverted, strong and weak, intuitive yet a rationalist, introspective and social, unique and individual yet needing people and empathetic. I belong to and am part of the Way and that is probably the most defining important part of my being. (Acts 24:14) As a God lover in the Way of Jesus Christ I long to see and embrace all things and people in his love for his glory. Creative people and places energize me. I enjoy and appreciate art and artists and like to contribute and collaborate in making my own art at times. I need my own time and spend a lot of time in contemplation- this is where I get recharged and new vision and vitality for life. A con of my personality is my ill attempts to understand everything about everything. At the same time I also get energy from others and love to be sociable. I make matrix like connections in my mind and although my comments often are perceived as random too me they are very connected to something. To me connection and harmony are very important and I believe the truth brings that out. The last few years have been filled with learning, studying and meeting wonderful people. Copenhagen, Escanaba, Nagasaki, and now back to Minneapolis! So excited to learn, grow and finish my last year at university! Call: I feel strongly called by the Lord to work and give myself as missionary of love to the Japanese people. As the Lord leads I hope to take a missionary assignment through ELCA Global Mission teaching English and serving in congregational mission and leadership in Japan. Eventually I would like to serve as an apostolic worker planting boiler rooms (missional/monastic communities) around the Japanese archipelago with a bunch of other Jesus lovers in international, incarnational bands of friends. About this blog: This blog is for my Church Administration and Personal Finance class. I'm looking forward to interesting and practical conversation and learning that will help develop my leadership and organizational skills for however and whatever takes shape out of the Lord's call.

2 responses »

  1. Insightful, you’ve grown Spencer…thats really cool to see…I respect you, not a lot of people can go willing writing about Jesus…Its good to see that…I think your an amazing person, though a little weird…with faith like yours you’ll go far.  Ever wanna talk or what eva, just message me…talk to you later Spencer…much love…Ciao!

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