“I have made a covanent with my eyes that I will not look lustfully at a man.” this is a covenant I made to my self with God as one to help me throught it. I have been stuggling in the sense not that I look and lust but the concept of just abstaning from any form of companionship. I mean, i can’t date a guy because i would be transgressing the law, which i have no desire to date that really comes from my inner parts but i am not yet ready to date a girl. i don’t understand my own masculinty enough. and the attractions are frankly just not quite there yet. they are, but they are faint. and diminsish in the light of my sexual attractions to the same sex. I pray that God would countine to keep my thought life under control. I pray for the fruit of the Spirit which is self control. I also pray that God my Father would help me understand what it means to be a masculine being. being confused is hard. I don’t want to be here anymore. I need God’s comfort in this season of trial that I may persevere to the end and endure all things as enabled by the Spirit. If anyone reads this please pray for me, thanks.