i am more of a slacker than this- when i can be

Standard

You Are 32% Slacker
You have a few slacker tendencies, but overall you tend not to slack.
You know how to relax when the time is right, but you aren’t lazy!

About minuiperiannath

Name: Spencer Wentland College: North Central University Year: Senior Major:Intercultural Studies My story of meeting Jesus in short: Not many weeks after I was born my parents baptized me into the Christian faith at First English Lutheran Church in my hometown, Appleton, WI. There they renewed their promises to renounce the devil and his ways, the world and evil and raise me the same way teaching me to love and fear the Lord, the Lord's Prayer, the Ten Commandments, the Creeds and when of reading age to put the Holy Bible in my hands and all the while, with the church community, instruct me in the Christian faith. My parents weren't perfect but they did fulfill the vows they made at my baptism. I had my own more personal experience with the Lord around the age of seven when I followed Jesus out of the Gospels to a "quiet, lonely place" in my backyard with the hope to do whatever Jesus did there. Without realizing it or ever being taught how to "receive Jesus into your heart" it happened quite like that even seeing a mental vision of Jesus and knowing I need to welcome him into my heart and let him sit on the throne of my life. I've never been the same since then and the Lord has kept his promise to be with me "always." I confirmed what my parents chose for me in a public confession of faith and the ritual of believer's baptism at a local swimming school where the Assemblies of God church my mom attends used to do their baptisms. I've never regretted a life with Jesus; life has always been richer, deeper and fuller because of it. About Me: Ha that's a funny question, and a popular one today. Well, if you really want to know "all about me" you will have to meet me. For starters I am hard to put in simple categories and often find myself tumbling between labels; i.e. introverted and extroverted, strong and weak, intuitive yet a rationalist, introspective and social, unique and individual yet needing people and empathetic. I belong to and am part of the Way and that is probably the most defining important part of my being. (Acts 24:14) As a God lover in the Way of Jesus Christ I long to see and embrace all things and people in his love for his glory. Creative people and places energize me. I enjoy and appreciate art and artists and like to contribute and collaborate in making my own art at times. I need my own time and spend a lot of time in contemplation- this is where I get recharged and new vision and vitality for life. A con of my personality is my ill attempts to understand everything about everything. At the same time I also get energy from others and love to be sociable. I make matrix like connections in my mind and although my comments often are perceived as random too me they are very connected to something. To me connection and harmony are very important and I believe the truth brings that out. The last few years have been filled with learning, studying and meeting wonderful people. Copenhagen, Escanaba, Nagasaki, and now back to Minneapolis! So excited to learn, grow and finish my last year at university! Call: I feel strongly called by the Lord to work and give myself as missionary of love to the Japanese people. As the Lord leads I hope to take a missionary assignment through ELCA Global Mission teaching English and serving in congregational mission and leadership in Japan. Eventually I would like to serve as an apostolic worker planting boiler rooms (missional/monastic communities) around the Japanese archipelago with a bunch of other Jesus lovers in international, incarnational bands of friends. About this blog: This blog is for my Church Administration and Personal Finance class. I'm looking forward to interesting and practical conversation and learning that will help develop my leadership and organizational skills for however and whatever takes shape out of the Lord's call.

2 responses »

  1. ok spencer i do not want to fight, i am sick of fights, it is so unnessecary. you misinterpreted a couple of my statements, i did not aim to hurt you with them or any of it… defense you see. words hurt and this is why.
    “for i, spencer, know how to love on a much larger and diverse scale than you shall ever know.”
    this is refering to the fact that it is impossible for you to know all of me therefore making it impossible for you to ever understand how i love. no one understands how the other may love and i do not presume to know your or others. i have come to a couple of great understandings of my empathy, my prejudices, and the personal barriers i place in realationships… and just how grossly unfounded and pigeon-hearted or steadfast and couragous some of my actions were/are. all this in the past year, many in the last month or so, that builds me up and let’s me extend my ability to love. i don’t know how you love and you won’t know how i do, it is impossible because it is mutable.
    “in reference to saying not to run away from you problems was less in realation to the fact you were travleing and more to the fact thay you said things like ” i just need to get away”  or “i have to get out of here.””
    i understand perfectly what you meant, i don’t know how i could have taken that literally. i am NOT running away. i say that because i need to take some time off… i need a break… i stand by that.
    “secondly.  i realize that xanga gives a very, very limited perspective into the life of a person- this goes for me as well however from the simple basis of your post that i responded to i noticed this parady. you seemed extremly depressed and upset and then you said you are still happy.”
    spencer, i am not in the habit of taking advice from people i do not know. not that you are untrustworthy but i don’t know you. however i do appreciate your caring, sincerely. so now i am going to trust you with this bit of information about me. i take 8 pills everyday, so that i may lead a “normal”, “happy” life. and not even because of a visible sickness… spencer, i have bipolar II disorder rapid-cycling, which means my moods range from “okay” to the deepest depressions you could never imagine. this is different from regular bipolar as i have not had many bouts of  “mania”, it also differs in the fact that instead of my mood switching two-four times a year,  my mood can change several times a day. i have spent years on this most unpleasnt rollercoaster only to be given meds that worsened my condition to the point of suicidal tendencies, then i was finally diagnosed last october. i have spent this year sick, suicidal, sick physically meaning puking, dizziness, headaches, to hammering down hard with mentally detroying myself, not to mention friendships, relationships, but most importantly me. spencer the chance was there and i so badly wanted to end it.
    so take it or leave it, my writing is mine alone, i don’t look for advice, and whether you believe me or not i don’t write for comments or attention, i write so i don’t express myself destructively (in any capacity)… but i love a laugh from people when they want to send a smile my way. people who know me know when to blow it off and know when to call when they think it’s gone to far…. those are my lovely friends that i charish. this is how i deal with it. my impulsive, capricious, mutable thoughts, i think you would agree, are better shut away in this diary rather than being spit at the target. understand that a sad thought for you is a hopeless thought for me, an angry thought for you is an enraged thought for me… and so on. my emotions are heightened, exaggerated, but you will be happy to know that your comment caught me during an onslaught of bad days.
    hopefully that will afford you some clearity. i think maybe you can paritally understand why your statement about my happiness cut so deep. i’ve been majorly depressed since i was 12 years old… that is a very long to hate yourself, your life, and feel hopeless about everything. i can happily tell you that have it nearly harnassed… i know when it is coming on and i can sometimes deflect it and/or lessen the blow it’s going to make. so that is it. that is why this feeling is important. do you know that i asked my therapist on several occasions what happiness felt like? what NORMAL felt like? i hadn’t known it for years, i had forgotten, i didn’t know if i felt normal or not, i didn’t know what normal felt like. this is why when i have come so close to feeling well again it hurts to hear such words, it hurts to be stuck in the middle of really depraved war when i come home, when i am just beginning to understand what “okay” feels like. please try to understand. i’m not going to feel guilty about not feeling bad (in reference to your quote on malice towards my mother) no i felt no guilt about telling the truth… it hurts we both know that. but it is better to say it rather than continue to take abuse, pain all at once is easier to handle than prolonged suffering.  
    and to answer your question…. do i think i am perfect? what would most fulfill you to hear? i think this is a rather spiteful question which has came from a bruised ego… which is my doing. i understand that i hurt you, but snap judgements do hurt. i replied in length because your words hurt me, i wasn’t angry, i was shocked. i would think that such an avid reader of my diary that you would pick up on every damn imperfection i hate about myself. do i think i am perfect? yes. i am. i am perfect the way i am and i’ll be perfect 20 years from now, i don’t know the scale you are using but the great thing is that it can be your own and perfection to me is surviving. i am perfect because i have survived, i am surviving. i am perfect in be perfectly imperfect. i can describe to you in intimate detail what i do that i think is wrong, what i think that i shouldn’t…. so on and so forth but i am not bad, i am a good person. so yes spencer, i am perfect. everyone is it just depends what scale you’re using.
    no worries,
    chelsea 

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