Monthly Archives: August 2007

prayer log

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Star date 4:36 of the clock on the the sixteenth of august in the two thousandth and seventh year of our Lord





It is the year of my graduation
and I am a graduate.  I just wasted a bunch of time looking for an old
journal that I can “finish.”  I have two to find and one I may finish
the other I may keep at is it, memories from the past.  At least I am
writing.  anyways this is a prayer journal even be it a digital one. 


prayer log

Standard

Star date 4:36 of the clock on the the sixteenth of august in the two thousandth and seventh year of our Lord





It is the year of my graduation
and I am a graduate.  I just wasted a bunch of time looking for an old
journal that I can “finish.”  I have two to find and one I may finish
the other I may keep at is it, memories from the past.  At least I am
writing.  anyways this is a prayer journal even be it a digital one. 

lord God, i am just so glad to be here. in your presence again.  its
been like forever, since i have wanted it so bad like i do now.  i
don’t know why i have been so limp, so lazy and slothful.  i don’t know
why i have been stubborn to attend to your heart and why i run and be
just like the world.  Father forgive me for this and all of my
inadequacies and sin.  how do i long, oh lord God how do i long for
you.  you are the source of all of my desire and the my greatest need. 
oh lord you be my comfort and refuge.  i have a lot to think of, to lay
before you at your feet.  master’s commission, Copenhagen, Europe,
travel, distance, money, provision, life, holiness, my eyes, my heart. 
oh how i yearn for you, to be your servant and to be pure in heart that
i may see you.  oh God have mercy.  forgive me of all of my sin and
purify me from all unrighteousness.  you, you alone are God.  no man,
not his body, his voice, form, charm, charisma, looks, smile, eyes,
touch or hands is anything but only that.  men are only men made unto
your image.  not to be worshiped as idols but to be loved as you love
us.  and oh God, you above all things are my one and only love.  Lord
Jesus, I write to you, speak to you.  seated at the right hand of God
and here in me by your Spirit.  oh God of majesty and yet here in this
place how i long to worship you.  to attend your feet, oh God how i do
love.  not just words but trust and action. God this is my heart to
serve and to know you and you and you.  Oh God you are my refuge and my
salvation in you i take delight as you dwell in my inner being yet you
encompassed all and are encompassed by none.  only in you infinite 
humility did you come down and be man to die for us and our salvation. 
Lord Jesus, come quickly. 

Spencer I am here, I am in this
place.  I the Lord have called you and from within you and from the
highest heavens I have longed to be with you as you are with me now. 
Spencer, don’t worry about these things bu fix your eyes on on me and
set  your heart to my voice.  I am the Lord who speaks over you and
calls you out.  I am alone am God and before me there was no one else. 
Spencer, I am here.  Listen and heed my voice and you will find your
dreams, your wildest dreams come true.  Spencer, I am the Lord.  Have
patience with my voice and have patience with me.  For I work gently
and with care with my handiwork that it would not be found in it an
imperfection.  And for my sake I work gently and with care because I
bid.  I bid that this be so that my work is both delicate and gentle to
enter time and history and into you to work in you and not break you. 
That the refining fire would not kill you.  But the demons that
surround you are no more of concern because my winnowing fork has been
released on them and the fire of my anger is not far from them.  But do
not concern yourselves with such things that you may go off on
distracted courses.  Go to my Word and attend my voice as I speak to
and over your heart.  Oh Spencer, I have chosen this way to commune
with you and that is in y sacred heart.  Do not forget how we met
there.  Do not forget all I have showed you and told you but attend to
it and be obedient.  Serve me and all the rest will be given you.  I am
the Lord, I have spoken. 

God please save my
friends.  Father, save my entire family.  I lift up to you Marcus and
Allie.  God I pray for Alli, Lord Jesus God, that you would set her
free God.  That you would let her soar and be free God.  God I pray
that you will loose the bondage that is holding her captive and
enslaved to sin.  God set her free.  God, the lust and the drugs and
alcohol and tobacco.  So many things have mastery her.  God but you
proclaim freedom to the captive and you have broken the chains of
bondage.  Oh risen Christ who has defeated both sin and death, bring
your victory and promise of salvation to fruit in Alli’s life, God. 
God I pray that you would redeem her.  God speak to her.  Let her know
how much God, how much you love her and have plans for her and how you
want to adorn as a daughter and princess in the Kingdom of God.  Let
her know, let her know the truth and open her eyes and ears.  Speak to
her and may the truth set her free.  In the name of Jesus.  God I also
lift up Marcus that you would guide him in his new walk with you.  Give
him the desire to be holy, to be pure and to seek your face and the
things of you oh God.  I continue to lift up Kyra E that you would
strengthen her relationship with you and keep her in your grace.  Give
her a reverence for your Word oh Lord God.  Set her free God from
whatever it is in her that says she it not good enough for you God.  No
one is, but you have called and you have spoken.  And you oh God are
Lord and King.  King of kings and Lord of lords I come before your 
throne to ask that you would guide and bring Danni into restored
seeking of you.  She became a new believer but she has not been
discipled and I have not been able to get a hold of her.  Give me the
chance before I leave God.  Strengthen Amanda as she is part of the
E-free youth group and may it not be about religion but about a real
relationship with you God.  Go forth by your Spirit and call Matt
Mickie to humility and to be a  servant of you, a friend and one who
seeks you Lord Jesus.  And Rick, God, who needs to know you and not
just believe that you exist.  For you have said even the demon’s
believe and tremble but you desire our hearts.  God open Rick’s heart
to you God.  May he desire more out of life and may life and creation
reveal more to him.  And may it be truth and not falsehood.  God, draw
him to you and to the truth.  God, move and break the strongholds in
Nick’s life.  Set him free from the drug addictions and from all the
lies that hold him in bondage.  Open his heart to the truth and to your
Word and you.  Till the soil of his heart.  Pour water to make soft and
nutrient filled Michelle Young’s heart.  She is apathetic to the truth
and bitter but I don’t know why.  Holy Spirit you know all things, do a
work in her.  Destroy the lie of apathy and bind the spirit of
bitterness Lord in the name of Jesus.  Also I lift up Issac, Brian and
Joe as well as the other guys who heard our testimony may that Word
which went forth accomplish what it was set out to do.  It will not
come back without harvest in the name of Jesus.  Work in Issac’s heart
and open him to you, draw him to the Scriptures and even in the Jewish
context make in hungry for your things and things relating to you oh
God.  I also lift up missionary families and ministries that are in my
Bible including the Francisco’s, Faith in Action and Barbara Cavannes. 
Also be with Diandra and let her know your presence with her at Christ
for the Nations Lord I pray in the name of Jesus.  Draw Brodi and Vince
to know you more God.  Heal the women at work and go with me as I
prepare to work and serve today.  I be filled with your fruit of love,
joy, peace, patience, kindness goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and
self-control.  May my eyes and heart be pure before you.  Help me to
reclaim time tonight Lord Jesus.  In your mighty name Lord God.  All
glory and honor to you forever, Amen. 

prayer log

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Star date 4:36 of the clock on the the sixteenth of august in the two thousandth and seventh year of our Lord


It is the year of my graduation and I am a graduate.  I just wasted a bunch of time looking for an old journal that I can “finish.”  I have two to find and one I may finish the other I may keep at is it, memories from the past.  At least I am writing.  anyways this is a prayer journal even be it a digital one. 

lord God, i am just so glad to be here. in your presence again.  its been like forever, since i have wanted it so bad like i do now.  i don’t know why i have been so limp, so lazy and slothful.  i don’t know why i have been stubborn to attend to your heart and why i run and be just like the world.  Father forgive me for this and all of my inadequacies and sin.  how do i long, oh lord God how do i long for you.  you are the source of all of my desire and the my greatest need.  oh lord you be my comfort and refuge.  i have a lot to think of, to lay before you at your feet.  master’s commission, Copenhagen, Europe, travel, distance, money, provision, life, holiness, my eyes, my heart.  oh how i yearn for you, to be your servant and to be pure in heart that i may see you.  oh God have mercy.  forgive me of all of my sin and purify me from all unrighteousness.  you, you alone are God.  no man, not his body, his voice, form, charm, charisma, looks, smile, eyes, touch or hands is anything but only that.  men are only men made unto your image.  not to be worshiped as idols but to be loved as you love us.  and oh God, you above all things are my one and only love.  Lord Jesus, I write to you, speak to you.  seated at the right hand of God and here in me by your Spirit.  oh God of majesty and yet here in this place how i long to worship you.  to attend your feet, oh God how i do love.  not just words but trust and action. God this is my heart to serve and to know you and you and you.  Oh God you are my refuge and my salvation in you i take delight as you dwell in my inner being yet you encompassed all and are encompassed by none.  only in you infinite  humility did you come down and be man to die for us and our salvation.  Lord Jesus, come quickly. 

Spencer I am here, I am in this place.  I the Lord have called you and from within you and from the highest heavens I have longed to be with you as you are with me now.  Spencer, don’t worry about these things bu fix your eyes on on me and set  your heart to my voice.  I am the Lord who speaks over you and calls you out.  I am alone am God and before me there was no one else.  Spencer, I am here.  Listen and heed my voice and you will find your dreams, your wildest dreams come true.  Spencer, I am the Lord.  Have patience with my voice and have patience with me.  For I work gently and with care with my handiwork that it would not be found in it an imperfection.  And for my sake I work gently and with care because I bid.  I bid that this be so that my work is both delicate and gentle to enter time and history and into you to work in you and not break you.  That the refining fire would not kill you.  But the demons that surround you are no more of concern because my winnowing fork has been released on them and the fire of my anger is not far from them.  But do not concern yourselves with such things that you may go off on distracted courses.  Go to my Word and attend my voice as I speak to and over your heart.  Oh Spencer, I have chosen this way to commune with you and that is in y sacred heart.  Do not forget how we met there.  Do not forget all I have showed you and told you but attend to it and be obedient.  Serve me and all the rest will be given you.  I am the Lord, I have spoken. 

God please save my friends.  Father, save my entire family.  I lift up to you Marcus and Allie.  God I pray for Alli, Lord Jesus God, that you would set her free God.  That you would let her soar and be free God.  God I pray that you will loose the bondage that is holding her captive and enslaved to sin.  God set her free.  God, the lust and the drugs and alcohol and tobacco.  So many things have mastery her.  God but you proclaim freedom to the captive and you have broken the chains of bondage.  Oh risen Christ who has defeated both sin and death, bring your victory and promise of salvation to fruit in Alli’s life, God.  God I pray that you would redeem her.  God speak to her.  Let her know how much God, how much you love her and have plans for her and how you want to adorn as a daughter and princess in the Kingdom of God.  Let her know, let her know the truth and open her eyes and ears.  Speak to her and may the truth set her free.  In the name of Jesus.  God I also lift up Marcus that you would guide him in his new walk with you.  Give him the desire to be holy, to be pure and to seek your face and the things of you oh God.  I continue to lift up Kyra E that you would strengthen her relationship with you and keep her in your grace.  Give her a reverence for your Word oh Lord God.  Set her free God from whatever it is in her that says she it not good enough for you God.  No one is, but you have called and you have spoken.  And you oh God are Lord and King.  King of kings and Lord of lords I come before your  throne to ask that you would guide and bring Danni into restored seeking of you.  She became a new believer but she has not been discipled and I have not been able to get a hold of her.  Give me the chance before I leave God.  Strengthen Amanda as she is part of the E-free youth group and may it not be about religion but about a real relationship with you God.  Go forth by your Spirit and call Matt Mickie to humility and to be a  servant of you, a friend and one who seeks you Lord Jesus.  And Rick, God, who needs to know you and not just believe that you exist.  For you have said even the demon’s believe and tremble but you desire our hearts.  God open Rick’s heart to you God.  May he desire more out of life and may life and creation reveal more to him.  And may it be truth and not falsehood.  God, draw him to you and to the truth.  God, move and break the strongholds in Nick’s life.  Set him free from the drug addictions and from all the lies that hold him in bondage.  Open his heart to the truth and to your Word and you.  Till the soil of his heart.  Pour water to make soft and nutrient filled Michelle Young’s heart.  She is apathetic to the truth and bitter but I don’t know why.  Holy Spirit you know all things, do a work in her.  Destroy the lie of apathy and bind the spirit of bitterness Lord in the name of Jesus.  Also I lift up Issac, Brian and Joe as well as the other guys who heard our testimony may that Word which went forth accomplish what it was set out to do.  It will not come back without harvest in the name of Jesus.  Work in Issac’s heart and open him to you, draw him to the Scriptures and even in the Jewish context make in hungry for your things and things relating to you oh God.  I also lift up missionary families and ministries that are in my Bible including the Francisco’s, Faith in Action and Barbara Cavannes.  Also be with Diandra and let her know your presence with her at Christ for the Nations Lord I pray in the name of Jesus.  Draw Brodi and Vince to know you more God.  Heal the women at work and go with me as I prepare to work and serve today.  I be filled with your fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  May my eyes and heart be pure before you.  Help me to reclaim time tonight Lord Jesus.  In your mighty name Lord God.  All glory and honor to you forever, Amen. 

Depressing writing

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No writing is depressing writing.  Today I thought I found a long lost journle full of my early writing and poems.  It was the first jounle in which my idenity as a writer started to materialize, my identiy as a poet, a haiku poet and when i started to finally get comfortable with my own voice.  In all honesty it feels like over the last two years i have lost a lot; a lot of creativity, a lot of passion, a lot of ambition.  its sad, but it doesn’t have to stay that way.  i also realized today that one of the major reasons i have not invested much in the arts is that there has been little money to do so.  anyways, i can always write and i have not been.  after i lost that journle i felt like i had lost part of myself, part of myself for a writer.  my english teacher told me maybe i lost it for a reason.  i don’t know, maybe but for good or bad?  my commitment to blog my exeripiance in europe over the next year has got by back to thinking about writing.  i really want to get back into it.  one of my teachers said i need to schedual it in or it wont happen. bosh.  i know he is right, and the summer is over again.  no short stories, no plays just a lot of blank pages and wasted time. 

on top of this i have had a lot to refelct about the past. my whole high school experiance, the back and forth, the reni-saince and chop chop.  gut goot and bland blah.  gosh.  there are so many people, wonderful people, and times and memories and so many suckie ones too.  damn.  i don’t usuelly swear but it was just the only way to put it.  i feel damnd up, like i have all this in me brewed up waiting to be let out to stream out to fall on pages and portraits and in song and lyric with rythem and dance and sweet erotic discourse.  so much, so so much.  i need God, so much.  I need the Holy Spirit to walk me through this. to let out the dam trickle by trickle so it can be all dealt with, so it doesn’t overflow, burst or worse… become stagnant, spoil and rot.  it needs to be moving, like the river Jordan.  it needs to flow and move, to clean and be cleaned in.  to shape landscapes and cut through rocky places.  to find its place in the True Vine, in the river of the Spirit.  this is my experiances, this is so much of who I am and and i am going to let out the damn little by little in bits and pieces through lyric and mealody with art and dialouge, in isolation, community and in the public spaces.  may i be a flower, a river and song for my neigbors to grace their sight, cool their feet, find drink and make merry dance.  and not me alone but me as one born of the Spirit, a child of God, his priest, ambassoder and intercessor.   always being rained on, growing, washed, overflowed, inspired filled up by the Spirit of God so that people don’t just exeriance me but him and that is what is good.  For no one is good except God and I am holy only because he has made me holy. 

 

In him,

 

In the Spirit, through the Son to the Father…I pray, live and offer my song to him

From the Father through the Son by His Spirit… I am transformed, made able and sing my song to them that they may hear, turn and believe.

 

In him forever and to him all glory and praise!

 

Amen.

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much left to be done. so much in need of Him. oh how I long to meet with Him, and be in his presence. 

 

“I come into your chambers and I dance at your feel Lord,

You are my savior and I’m at Your mercy.”

 

Come Lord Jesus, Come Quickly…

 

 

His nambe be praised… forever!