emotional tidal wave in a bowling alley

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Last week Wednesday I went out bowling with friends of mine.  My best friend was there amongst some other good friends and I was expecting a good night.  In reality is was absurd.  I got paired with a bowling row with a bunch of people I didn’t really know that well and on top of that I was getting vibes of negativity from them.  Immediately I was disappointed and awkward at the same time.  I knew I was being ridiculous, I need to take advantage of this time with new people, to serve them and love them but I just felt so awkward and it felt like there were so many barriers, like I was being opposed.  I knew in my mind that the way I was feeling wasn’t right, but it was like this emotional tidal wave of downerisim just hit me.  I was depressed and I couldn’t enjoy myself.  I almost wanted to leave and pout to God.  I even prayed to God to change my attitude but in reality I just wouldn’t do it myself.  I was also very confused as to why I was so down.  It was strange.  It came out of nowwhere, like a bat out of hell.  I question, was I upset because I felt rejected from the group I knew?  Was I being possesive of my friend, and my friends?  I think both of these might have been present.  Espcieally the rejection, I have noticed this tendency in the past and knew why it was there but couldn’t seem to get over it.  I must remember that God always excepts me when I come to him, but not only does he accept me just for my own sake.  He accepts me to be sent out and be a whole person to serve those aroudn me in love.  That was not my attidute that night, it was about me, my wants my needs, my desires.  Lord have mercy on me and remind us all of our tendency gravitate inward on ourselves.  Instead may we be drawn out of ourselves through you and your power to be an expression of your love and a refelction of Christ to those in our midst wherever we are inside or whatever environment we are in whether bowling allies or in the midst of emtional tidal waves.

Peace,
Spencer

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About minuiperiannath

Name: Spencer Wentland College: North Central University Year: Senior Major:Intercultural Studies My story of meeting Jesus in short: Not many weeks after I was born my parents baptized me into the Christian faith at First English Lutheran Church in my hometown, Appleton, WI. There they renewed their promises to renounce the devil and his ways, the world and evil and raise me the same way teaching me to love and fear the Lord, the Lord's Prayer, the Ten Commandments, the Creeds and when of reading age to put the Holy Bible in my hands and all the while, with the church community, instruct me in the Christian faith. My parents weren't perfect but they did fulfill the vows they made at my baptism. I had my own more personal experience with the Lord around the age of seven when I followed Jesus out of the Gospels to a "quiet, lonely place" in my backyard with the hope to do whatever Jesus did there. Without realizing it or ever being taught how to "receive Jesus into your heart" it happened quite like that even seeing a mental vision of Jesus and knowing I need to welcome him into my heart and let him sit on the throne of my life. I've never been the same since then and the Lord has kept his promise to be with me "always." I confirmed what my parents chose for me in a public confession of faith and the ritual of believer's baptism at a local swimming school where the Assemblies of God church my mom attends used to do their baptisms. I've never regretted a life with Jesus; life has always been richer, deeper and fuller because of it. About Me: Ha that's a funny question, and a popular one today. Well, if you really want to know "all about me" you will have to meet me. For starters I am hard to put in simple categories and often find myself tumbling between labels; i.e. introverted and extroverted, strong and weak, intuitive yet a rationalist, introspective and social, unique and individual yet needing people and empathetic. I belong to and am part of the Way and that is probably the most defining important part of my being. (Acts 24:14) As a God lover in the Way of Jesus Christ I long to see and embrace all things and people in his love for his glory. Creative people and places energize me. I enjoy and appreciate art and artists and like to contribute and collaborate in making my own art at times. I need my own time and spend a lot of time in contemplation- this is where I get recharged and new vision and vitality for life. A con of my personality is my ill attempts to understand everything about everything. At the same time I also get energy from others and love to be sociable. I make matrix like connections in my mind and although my comments often are perceived as random too me they are very connected to something. To me connection and harmony are very important and I believe the truth brings that out. The last few years have been filled with learning, studying and meeting wonderful people. Copenhagen, Escanaba, Nagasaki, and now back to Minneapolis! So excited to learn, grow and finish my last year at university! Call: I feel strongly called by the Lord to work and give myself as missionary of love to the Japanese people. As the Lord leads I hope to take a missionary assignment through ELCA Global Mission teaching English and serving in congregational mission and leadership in Japan. Eventually I would like to serve as an apostolic worker planting boiler rooms (missional/monastic communities) around the Japanese archipelago with a bunch of other Jesus lovers in international, incarnational bands of friends. About this blog: This blog is for my Church Administration and Personal Finance class. I'm looking forward to interesting and practical conversation and learning that will help develop my leadership and organizational skills for however and whatever takes shape out of the Lord's call.

2 responses »

  1. Hi Spencer, I related to your bowling alley experience. It’s crazy/frustrating when something like that happens and we get sucked into a spiral of pain and then self pity. I wish my negative spirals led to the same thoughts yours did.  Chris

  2. @Chrisjb7 – Thanks.  And, it can.  Christ is our hope and the breath of our salvation.  He sustains us, his Spirit drew us to him to begin with and empowered us to confess that he is Lord.  This same breath gives us power to live out our salvation with fear and trembling and affords us all the opportunity to the bear the fruit of love.  Its his grace working through our hands.  opus dei, manuum nostrum,Spencer

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