This past summer has been full of spirtual backslide, doublemindedness and sloth. Although I have repeatedly come to realize these things in my m ind I could never move the stone to get past them.
The idle time of the summer drew me away from personal time with the Lord into distracting nad unbenificial habits of slot that soon had me almost spending more time in cyber space instead of real space. In spite of the fact that I didn’t realize it at the time, my idleness led to a lukewarmness in my mind. This environment of a lkuewarm self was a breeding ground for Satan’s deception. My unspirtual state was blind and unequiped to recognize the lies of the Enemy. Therefore my heart became dull to the movement of the Spirit and the Word of the Lord. I slid back to old doubts and insecurities that have left me emotionaly entangled and spirtually crippled. But now more.
Yesterday morning (Sep. 2nd) at the international church service I came forward for prayer. The pastor gave four simple words to hold onto and let the Spirt speek into them; yes, sorry, please and thank you. I knew the word for me was yes. Yes God. Yes Jesus. Yes You not with half my m ind but with allm y mind, not with just my mind but with my heart, all my soul, and my strenghth. And today in the Word “Do not let you hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” -Jesus (John 14:1, NIV). And so God has opened my mind. He has opened the eyes of my troubled heart to see his peace, to gently heed his call “Trust God; trust also in me.” He has answered what I said yes to. The prhase “Yes…God” is in openness to him but it is “Yes I trust you God where I respond to the Spirit’s call.
I see now that the doubts I had did not come from satan’s deception but the doubts that were a tone blocking my way made me stagnatn and a breding groud for satan’s lies. The doubts were first, the doubts kept me as still, lazy water and then came the lies. But I no longer doubt, I realize the stone was never for me to move but for for Him. I trust now that other stones will be removed. My mind is no longer a place of doubt but of faith, promise and trust.
By His Spirit,
“Yes I trust you!”
Grace and peace,